With change comes adjustment. And adjustment is not something I like. I am a total perfectionist. Crossing things off my to-do list makes me giddy. Seriously. I love order and need things to be done my way.
So I've had some down days in the last seven weeks because predictability goes out the window with an on-the-verge-of-terrible-twos toddler and a newborn. I've had to let things go.
But I hate it.
I don't like it.
I don't want to.
Then I came across this verse.
Colossians 3:23-34 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
It humbled me big time. Who am I to question God's call on my life as a mom? I feel ashamed of the negative thoughts that have circled my brain this week. Thoughts like "I'm so not cut out to be a mom...especially to a toddler" or "What's the point in even trying to teach her how to do this? She's not going to listen to me. It's a waste of my time." Or feeling jealous of my husband because he gets to do "adult" things like go to meetings and coffee dates with coworkers. Really?
I'm encouraged and convicted. My work as a mom is everything. I'm praying that God will continue to show me that throughout my days.
Praying that I will not just let things go, but that I will give them to Him. Lay them at His feet. Trust that He has is all under control. My perfectionism and all.